Man. It’s been a shitty start to the year. Big disappointments and failures. And so many unpleasant interactions with some serious assholes.
The funny thing about failure is that no one wants to allow you to feel it. With the best intentions, of course. They don’t want you to hurt. But if you think about it, it teaches us to never fully accept and deal with those feelings.
I confided in a friend who is like a mother figure to me about one of my big letdowns. She hugged me and said she was so sorry. That alone was comforting because others assured me it wasn’t so bad. Which is kind of like saying you shouldn’t feel that way. But as we all tend to do, I told her it was fine, I was fine, blah blah blah. She looked at me and said, “You have to let yourself grieve this. It meant a lot to you.”
Getting her permission to feel that anger and bitterness and disappointment and resentment felt like a huge relief.
It sucks. It’s a shitty feeling to realize that sacrifice, discipline, and hard work don’t always translate into getting what you want. You can do everything in your power and still fall short. Or let someone get the best of you.
Failure will always suck, and yeah, it‘s discouraging to face it again and again. But face it. Feel it. Stop fighting it. And resolve to move forward from it. Try something else. And just wait for it all to fall into place.